What is a Noble Wife?
By: Tabitha Norvell Insulightangel29@gmail.com
Yesterday we learned about how God made a wife and what a special gift marriage is. Today I am going to share with you Proverbs Chapter 31. In this chapter it explains what a Noble wife is and what we can do for our husbands and our families.
Proverbs 31: 10
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious then rubies. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
Proverbs 31: 11- 12
Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
I read the last two versus and thought I have never brought my husband any physical harm so I must be doing ok. But what I failed to realize is that not all harm is physical. It could be emotional, financial, mental harm. Causing stress is a harm to our husbands. I am not saying that wives are the cause of stress because I know there is so much more to stress then just one person. Have you looked at your marriage lately and thought what harm am I doing? I did this just this morning and realized that by complaining and nagging I am causing my husband harm. By laying everything that is going wrong at the feet of my husband I am doing him harm. I do not think that everything that is going wrong right now is his fault, I know for a fact that most of it is not his fault. Most of the time I just need someone to talk to about it and because he is my other half he is the one that I speak with. What this does to some men is they want to fix everything so when we talk to them about everyday struggles or even long term struggles they want to fix it and fix it right now. This in turn becomes a stress for them and can cause them great harm.
I have learned that instead of laying it all at his feet I have a few close female friends that I know have my best interests at heart that I talk to first. By doing this when I do sit down and speak to my husband about it I can be clear and concise and help him to understand that I am not looking for a fix I am looking for him to just listen, without putting any sort of blame or stress on him.
Proverbs 31: 15
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
With this verse a lot of us are able to get up and prepare breakfast for our men or pack their lunches or whatever it is that they need. But not always due to job demands or illnesses. With PCOS there are times that just getting out of bed at all is difficult. Of course now a days we dont have servant girls so in my mind when I read this I think of the wife planning the days work for herself and if she is blessed to have children planning their day as well. If we are not able to do this I dont feel that God would love us any less. As long as we do everything that we can everyday to take care of our household and our husbands and families I think that is all God is asking for. But that is my opinion on it.
Proverbs 31: 17-18
She is energetic and strong, A hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
Reading these verses the first thing that came to mind was, " I used to be this way, before the depression, anxiety and weight came on." I want to be this person again. I want to take the weight of the world off of my husbands shoulders and help him carry the load. But how do I get there? How do I pull myself out of the pit that I am in and be the person my husband needs me to be? For me it was allowing God back into my life. Asking for his help through everyday, every appointment, job interview, even just talking with friends and family. I even asked him for help with my energy level so that I would be able to do the things around my house that needed to be done.
Proverbs 31:20-22
She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
I strive to be this woman every day. I want to help those around me as much as I can. The one thing that I have always had to remember is that when I am reaching out and helping those around me, I cant be afraid to ask for help when I need it as well. That has always been something that I have struggled with. I would rather every one else around me had what they needed and I would go with out.
In verse 22 it says she dresses in fine linen and purple gowns, my take on that is that dressing nice for our husbands is what it is talking about. Being the woman that our husband is proud to show off. I spent a lot of our marriage in sweats and a hoodie. Still do most the time, but what I have learned over the years is that when I dress up for him, whether we are going out for dinner or going shopping or are having friends over, the situation did not matter, all he saw was that I had taken the time for HIM to look nice. I will wear his favorite shirt, jeans whatever it is just to get the smile on his face. He always tells me I dont need make up so I try to do natural colors and make it very little just so that I can feel good about myself and he can be proud of the way I look.
I have started taking up crocheting and cross stitch to make blankets and clothes for myself and my husband. It is so much cheaper to make your own bedding then it is to go buy it any more. Plus you feel like you have accomplished something and can feel good about yourself. My husband loves the fact that I make him things. He takes them with him to work and brags about how his wife spoils him rotten. Not everybody has time for this and that is understandable and ok. If you have free time this is a great hobby to pick up.
Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
Being clothed with strength and dignity is a big thing. I want my husband to be able to rely on me for things that need to be done or to help him carry the weight of the world. Laughing with out fear of the future? That one is a lot harder to get a grip on. I worry about what is going to happen every day. What the future holds for us and where we are going to end up. I am learning to live for today. Only worry about what I can do today. What tasks I can accomplish. I am learning how to be thankful for everything that I have for today. Tomorrow will come and I can not stop it, but today everything is right in my world, and if its not then I do what I need to, to make it right for today.
Proverbs 31:26
When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
Are you kind when you speak to your partner about things that are going on? Do you remember to think before you speak so that your words are kind and wise? I try to, but I am so not perfect. I try to remember that just because I am thinking something does not mean it needs to be said in the tone and way that I am thinking it. I was just given the surprise of my life the other day and had to stop and think about the situation before I spoke. It was not something that I agreed with and wanted to look at the person and go what are you thinking. Instead I took some time to think it over and then decided that even though I dont agree with it I still love that family member and want to support them, so that is what I did. I told them that I loved them and would support them through anything that they needed. God wants us to be loving, caring, supporting individuals in all aspects of our lives. He wants us to be like him.
Being lazy can be taken many ways. It could be that person that lays in bed or on the couch all day and does nothing, it could be the person who only prays when they need something but doesnt rely on God for the everyday things. It could be that person who goes to work and only does just enough to get by, or the student who gets grades just good enough to pass the class. When we dont use our full potential we are letting ourselves and God down. He has great plans for us and if we do not hold our end of the deal up, God can not hold his end of the deal.
Proverbs 31:30-31
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New living Translation)
In the foot notes my bible reads: This woman is an excellent wife and mother. She is also a manufacturer, importer, manager, Realtor, farmer, seamstress, upholsterer, and merchant. Her strength and dignity do not come from her amazing achievements, however. They are a result of her reverence for God. In our society, where physical appearance counts for so much, it may surprise us to realize that her appearance is never mentioned. Her attractiveness comes entirely from her character.
The woman described in this chapter has outstanding abilities. Her family's social position is high. In fact she my not be one woman at all, she may a composite portrait of ideal womanhood. Do not see her as a model to imitate in every detail; your days are not long enough to do everything she does! See her instead as an inspiration to be all you can be. We cant be just like her, but we can learn from her industry, integrity, and resourcefulness.
I dont think there is anything that I could add to that. It pretty much summed it up. Make sure that everyday you are doing everything that you can to be everything that you can. Love your husband, families, neighbors and friends the way that God loves us. You will be amazed how different your life will become, how different you will feel each day.
God bless you all!
Lots of Love and Support,
Tabitha
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