The Making of a wife
By: Tabitha Norvell Insuliteangel29@gmail.com
Genesis 2:18
" Then the Lord God said, " It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New Living Translation)
Even in the beginning God did not want Adam to be alone. He wanted someone of the same value, beliefs and love to share in everything Adam did. When God made us from Adams rib he intended for us to be one together. To be equal in each others eyes and to know that we are united as one in Gods eyes.
Genesis 2:24
" This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." ( Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, New Living Translation)
God gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. Marriage has never been something that was just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture.
After reading these two passages I had a totally different outlook on my marriage. I had always believed that marriage was something that the human race came up with. To find out that it was something that God had intended for us to do to symbolically unite Chris and I as one was such an eye opener. I knew the minute that I saw my husband I was going to marry him. There was no doubt in my mind that he was the one that I wanted to be with. But at the same time I felt like I was left out of the loop. Most of the friends that I went to High School with were either married, engaged or had been with their partners for years. Most had kids on the way or already had them, I felt like I was missing out, so why not get married. I would not say that I got married for all the wrong reasons, but I was not getting married for the one and only reason that should have mattered to me.
My bible goes on to say in the foot notes that there are 3 aspects to a healthy spiritual, God fearing marriage:
1. Man leaves his parents and , in a public act, promises himself to his wife.
Most of us do this through our marriage ceremony, where most women wear some type of dress, and the guys wear a suit or tux and everybody dresses up to celebrate our special day with us. In the process we spend a ton of money, stress ourselves to the point that when that day comes we dont remember half of what took place and just want it done and over with. Others have the perfect day and there is no stress on that day. I have to say those that have no stress please share your secrets with the rest of us :).
2. The man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each others welfare and by loving their mate above all others.
Oops I forgot this one for the first year of my marriage and even sometimes after that. When I first got married I was more worried about those around me. I wanted to help everyone and take care of everyone and it did not matter how many times I stepped on my husbands toes. I really did not care what he thought or how hard it was on him to pay the bills and was truly selfish. My friends came first, and that was all that mattered to me. Took me a long time to realize that he was who needed to come first. He was the one who I was suppose to be devoted to, he was the one that I was suppose to share my love with. I could still be there for my friends and family but his needs needed to come first. We were married in July of 2006 and this did not start taking place until Nov of 2011. That's 5 years that he suffered through me putting everyone else before him. He still loves me very much today, he tells me he loves more today then he did the day we got married. I look at him in awe when he says that. How can he love me after everything I put him through, how can he feel this way towards me. God gave me the person that I needed in my life. He gave me a man who sees how big my heart is and understands the decisions that I made. Those decisions that hurt him and put him second, he sees as me loving people and trusting in people to much. My big heart was one of the reasons that he fell in love with me to begin with.
3. The two are united into one in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union that is reserved for marriage.
I don't know about the rest of you and I am not judging anyone, but I can honestly say my loving husband was not my first. Many people today do not hold their first time for their husbands. In today's society it is ok for women and men to sleep with each other before getting married. There are very few women and men that hold true to the word of God and save themselves for marriage. I look back on my teenage years and what I went through. I wish now that I would have waited, that I would not have given the guys what they wanted. By doing so I gave away pieces of my heart and soul. I went through hard break ups and heartaches that I would not have had to go through had I not given in. I am not saying that there would not have been break ups and heartache, but every time that I slept with someone I grew emotionally attached. I wanted that person to be a part of my life forever. I was the one that thought if the guy was having sex with me then he must love me. I was stupid and childish. I was not mature enough to realize that what I was doing was hurting myself. I was listening to the fantasies that I had been told all my life instead of looking at the cold hard truth.
I had given so much of myself away before I got married that it took me almost a year of being with my husband to really be able to see how damaged I was. To be able to start working on making myself a better person. To start patching up the holes that were in my heart and soul. I am still working on this today, but I can look back on it and know that I am further now then I was then and the only way I got there was through Christ our Lord.
God bless you all! Thank you for sharing in my writings and my story.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Tabitha
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